Fightin the good fight... with insurance

Let me just start by saying that Lori the midwife came over, and she was wonderful. Totally open to anything, not pushy, but she has her own opinions. So yes, wonderful. She sat there while i had a Vomit Crisis with one of the boys that i watch, ad didn't seen to be bothered by it at all. Although i felt pretty bad that her first 30 minutes here was me getting him cleaned up and calling his parents and getting him on his way home.

So she answered every question i could come up with and listened to my concerns and the why i hate hospitals rants and added her own stories, and i just felt quite comfortable around her, and she talked to my children(you know that is a plus, that is all anybody wants right? to have their children appreciated the way that they do) and leaned their names.

We also addressed the insurance issue!!!! She didn't seem put off by BCBSfep (federal employee program) and outlined what i need to say to them and how to get them to work with a home birth. I felt quite confident that i was going to be able to persuade them to cover her.

What i needed to do:

File for and exception
Tell them my midwife is licenced
tell them i need a home birth and my area is under served
talk to a manager if i have to

What i did:

All of the above, politely

What i was told:

I call you back tomorrow

********************************* Fast forward  ***************************

The next day comes around, it is almost closing time, and no call back (not that i expected one)

So i called them back, Asked for Pat (if that is even her real name) gave them her extension

She gets on the phone and explains:

She talked to her manager
Her manager said a home birth is a personal decision
There are plenty of doctors that can deliver a healthy baby in my area
and they are preferred providers

What i say:

There are no midwifes in my area that will attend a home birth that is a preferred provider
And it is not just my opinion it is was i need
And her managers opinion is not what i care about

So we went back and forth for a while, even though i knew wasn't going to get anywhere, i just wanted to make sure her day had a sucky end... I am not new to insurance idiots, i had tricare for almost a decade!!

So tomorrow i will call back and talk to someone different, and get their opinion... eventually i will find the one person that shares my opinion and let me "file an exception"

I know this will work because the google says it will

All Hail the google

The google knows aaaaalllllll

homeopathics

I had given up all hope... life had shunned me and vomit was my new reality

Then i saw on my "modern mommy app" an article about homeopathic morning sickness remedies

It starts off talking about how ginger and saltines don't help those mommies with severe morning sickness, and pharmaceuticals aren't a good answer... WOW how did it know at this very moment i was struggling against throwing up and completely debilitated, Though i had to get up and get ready for our big day at the kids market and baby sitting!?!

So i googled a homeopathic place in the burg, and what do you know the park that kids market was at is RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD from the homeopathy place! what what

i poured on some essential oils, vomited, ate a few bites of toast vomited, then chewed some peppermint gum and packed up and headed to my destiny

The lady at the place was not the usual homeopathic expert that is their, so she answered my questions with some kind of gibberish and left me more confused that ever, but what i found out was

~you must not touch the pellets
~you cannot drop the pellets
~ you must dissolve the pellets under your tongue

There were many options in choosing which remedy i needed, i chose the:

"Nux Vomica: Nausea is worse in the morning and from eating. The stomach is very sensitive to pressure. If necessary, Nux Vomica can be taken in alternation with Ipecacuanha."

Well all i can say is wow... I had to use pretty hard core medicine with the first three babies, that was after aroma therapy, vitamin therapy, acupressure, self hypnosis, and a slue of other random things that always seemed to make me feel more and more depressed about being pregnant.

It doesn't take ALL the nausea away, but it definitely takes the edge off, enough for me to shove some high protein food in my mouth, which then gets me able to function. Also tic tacs, yes you red that right, Tic Tacs are a wonderful fix for a slight stomach upset. So i am not sick enough to justify a pellet of what ever is in homeopathic remedies, but i do feel like i need something... Tic Tac!!

I hope this continues to work! I am feeling quite hopeful even excited about being pregnant. Maybe this one will be a beautiful pregnancy, maybe i can enjoy the next 8 months of my life, maybe i should have tried homeopathy 5 years ago, then i may have been able to finish my bachelors.........

or not whatever ;)

Get Down With the Sickness

Today(mothers day) marks the beginning of the misery. I was hopeful... "not this time" I would say...."i am in better health" i would reason.... "its all in my head" i pleaded

Alas it is not so. I am sick, all day 'morning sickness'

I don't know how i am to cope with this, it is of course a challenge every time. But this time, oh on, THIS TIME i cant even imagine how i am going to live!?! Starting in three weeks i will be running an in home summer day care, the plans are already set, and the summer is going to b packed with outings and field trips. Me trying to cope with throwing up all day and at the same time taking care of 6 children. i am having a hard time coping with the THOUGHT of it, i honestly don't know if i am going to survive :(

i must go my 18 month old wants to type a bit on his blog
;A;O3l;e;aePOEAHHUwyJRT4

Names names names

Miranda was our first pick, and we definitely love the idea of calling our little baby girl Murry

and we were even going to get a onsie with bill Murry on it, and it would be awesome sauce

and her growing up with her nearest and dearest friends calling her Murry, is such a sweet notion to me.

But now there is this other name... it has struck a cord and i cant let it go

Piper

Doesn't it just reek of cute and quirky!?!

doesn't it DOESN'T IT!?!?!?

only 6 weeks in and i am having name battles (not a good sign, not a good sign at all)

How important is a home birth really?

When it come right down to it, all that really matters... is money.

"NO no no", you are saying. "That is not what cliches have taught me" You may think for instance "love is all you need" or "money cant buy happiness" or "when in Rome do as the Romans do" (well okay that last one doesn't fit)

I am here to tell you that, in my country(which is also very likely yours also), you cant do anything or have anything without money.

you may be happy-ish or you may have love (i know i do) but without money(and a good deal of it) you are stuck doing what every body else wants you to do, when they want you to do it

I guess you aren't exactly stuck, you can do what ever you want, if you don't mind doing some time in the clink(haha lingo like i have been there)

Though home births are touted as being cheaper than hospital births....for the average lower income American family, i don't believe that to be true.

We have insurance... we are forced to have insurance, and we being of little means have the cheapest insurance that my husbands job offered. This means that if we use a preferred provider than insurance with cover their share, but seeing a provider that takes blue cross blue shield but is not a preferred provider (meaning basically that they do not bill patients the way that BCBS wants) then our insurance will pay exactly 0% of the bills.

Maternity coverage for a BCBS preferred provider  will 100% care and tests, and $150 limit on the hospital stay

Maternity coverage with an out of network midwife, $3500... that is her total, everything included (test will be covered by insurance)

Though the actual bill from the hospital will total about 9000 dollars i will pay only $150, considerable cheaper than $3500

Now the real question is how badly do i NEED an out of hospital birth? My immediate answer is, "money is no object and a hospital isn't an option unless for an absolute emergency"

But the real answer is "we cant afford, a better birth"

We tried to cancel insurance... with the 300 dollars a month we pay towards insurance that we haven't used in 10 months (because we cant afford to go to the doctors whilst paying so much for insurance) we could be paying towards a midwife (that would leave about 150 dollars to pay out of our pocket to make it to 3500 by the birth of 4bangerbaby)
 but we couldn't change our insurance policy until "open season" the two weeks when husbands work has deemed it acceptable to make our own decisions about life. So we are stuck until November with an insurance plan that we don't want.


There is another option:

A birthing center, an hour away. Insurance covers them, but although we are within their 50 mile radius, they wont drive to us for a home birth... their reason, traffic!!!!!!! Thank you dc traffic for ruining our life!!! and my ideal home birth experience

i could drive there and have my baby, but the dilemma is, 3stroke baby(know as B3) came precisely one hour after i went into labor

it is my (and husbands) thinking that we will have a baby in the car on the way to Alexandria.

So how important is a home birth to you?

A huntin' we will go, for a midwife

Allow me to recap on the last three babies in as few words as possible:

Institutionalized, Stressful, Unconnected, Deceitful 

I guess that makes it sounds terrible, though none of my births have been bad, they have all left me with a bitter regret of not doing a home birth

Either because i was young and naive or because the "midwifes" didn't care about my wants and needs, or because the doctors think their Sh** don't stink... i have had one glaring problem or another, regardless of hospital or birthing center or military base.

So this one i decided, against all of my friends and families wishes, to do a home birth. Well, i haven't told anyone outside of my house so i really couldn't tell you for sure if it would be against their wishes but they all think i am radical for some reason and i doubt this would be much different "there she goes being a hippy again" haha i say this in good humor, cause i really am kind of a hippy :P

I have a friend that has had four successful home births and loves her midwife, CPN, so i emailed her a few days ago and got her midwifes info.

I did a bit of research on her before calling and found a little bit of questionable information... for instance she had her license to practice suspended, for two cases, one which resulted in the death of a baby. After looking through the paper case work and a few news articles i came to my own conclusion that her only fault was doing what the mother wanted.

I also ran across a good deal of Good Reviews, people saying how much they love her and how great their birth experience was, and this was helpful.

I also looked up some CNM's and the closest ones were in Alexandria, and Richmond, neither of which would drive to me because traffic in the dc metro area is HORRENDOUS. Even though i was in the 50 mile radius for the Alexandria midwifes they didn't want to sit in traffic :/ they instead said i should drive to them. NOT going to happen... Baby 3 came one hour after i started feeling contractions, my water broke when his HEAD ruptured it, i don't think driving an hour away would be conducive to a pleasant birth experience, nor would my car smell nice afterwards!!!

So i scheduled to meet with my Lori on Monday, during babysitting time, so hopefully it will go smoothly and she and i connect

I have always wanted to have a midwife that actually cared about me and my baby. Someone who didn't just see me as another miserable pregnant lady with a big dollar sign stamped to my for head

I have at times felt like my midwife cared, only to come to the delivery room at midnight and them leave a few minutes later... or to not even call and see how things are going, or to come say i am doing good, but they are going on break and never come back :/

Maybe my expectations are just to high, but i don't think so. I have this idealistic view of "midwifes before hospital births" The local grama's and experienced moms rush over to so and so's house just in time to see the midwife (the village elder with 55 grand kids, whose been waiting patiently at the house for the past few days for labour to start) deliver the baby and hand her over to the new mom... there are hugs and love all around, pats on the backs and offers to clean up and make dinner... the dad is beaming and proud and relieved and the whole village celebrates that night while the new parents get acquainted with the newest town addition. Cheesy Yes, True, i think at some point it was... 

i am no scholar but wouldn't the world be a better place if every new baby was a community celebration.

Baby Wearing When Expecting

Today i had the Craving!!! The unmistakable craving of spring, that perfect weather promoting, no spiders yet liberating, Craving to go LETTERBOXING!!!!

We packed up the children and our backpack and the baby carrier and set of on a 15 Box adventure. 

When we got there i decided i would do the baby wearing this time. I tied on the meitie and traveled on a mostly up hill and quite muddy trail... I was okay so long as we were moving but when we stopped to eat snacks my back would start aching... by the time we made it back to the Mom mobil(8 boxes short) My back was screaming!!! and a little later i was feeling quite crampy. 

Lesson learned: shorter hikes, and more rests

i wonder how the baby wearing will go the bigger I get, B3 is not the small featherweight child B1 was and dwarfs B2(whom at the time i thought was a monster) at this age

Baby 3 Just got to where he semi enjoys being in the carrier and it would be a shame to not be able to where it especially since i took the time to make it for him (tute here)

We've got a busy weekend planned!!