pregnancy tea and me

My midwife has talked about her recipe and love of pregnancy tea, since the first time i met her...

Turns out, there is a good reason for that!! Raspberry leaf tea has changed my pregnancy, for the better of course

I am 25 weeks pregnant and i look so skinny still!!! Even dear husband has made earnest mention of it.

The golden rule in my house is, whilst pregnant don't talk about my weight!! If you say i am looking swollen i might hurt you, if you say i am looking good, i will hurt you (lying is a sin, so don't do it) if you try to drop hints about how skinny i was BEFORE or say silly/stupid things when i am complaining like, "but you are eating for two" or "there is a baby in you belly" then those will be your last words.

But yesterday hubs said, " i hope baby is growing okay, because this is the best you have ever looked in pregnancy"

As off putting as that was (you know, cause baby may actually be not growing) i was somewhat flattered... then i was a little offended because i know how much bigger i get when i am baking a baby.

I have mentioned how much this tea makes me go (go as in... to the bathroom... to pee) it like a diuretic without the uncomfortable diarrhea part. Literally i drink one (rather large)mug of it then about an hour later i am peeing like a horse... i do not hydrate the way i should and yet so much liquid is leaving my body!!!

I am not swollen i feel like i can squat without fear of my calves bursting, i can keep up with my kids, my belly even seems tighter, less belly more baby if you get my meaning.

but the BIGGEST difference is my FACE. My face swells get fat retains water catches rogue calories, what ever you want to say, the moment i stop throwing up from morning sickness my face balloons to huge proportions... it had already started to this pregnancy, and now i seem to look skinnier again, after a few weeks of tea every morning!!!

I may be talking it up to much, but when husband goes out of his way to break my golden rule, and maybe even offend me, and also worsen my baby worrying, then i know he sees a difference.

and that is that

Running hot

This baby is making my blood boil...

I swear i am so freaking HOT all the time, i am freezing my family out of the house, haha

Thank goodness it is getting cooler outside, otherwise out electricity bill would be to much to handle.

A few days ago, it was so nice and cool out, like low 60's, i decided to go mow the lawn, i told the husband to go weed eat and i would push the mower (a little light exercise would do me some good) i got on a yoga top and some wind shorts(the kind i usually wear over a swimsuit... and went outside to finally after what seems like 6 months, CATCH MY BREATH!!! it was so refreshing, the wind would blow and i would let cool me to the core.

Husband walked out of the house just as i was pulling the lawn mower out... dressed in long pants, long sleeves, gloves... then he said he was going back inside to get a jacket!!!!

I dont think i am running THAT hot right now, but it was pretty funny! Me wearing almost nothing, and solid hunk of muscle and testosterone husband all bundled up like a pansy :D (no one tell him i said that)

now at night my kids are getting on their fleecy pj's and slippers, and i am turning the thermostat down to near freezing temperatures, and walking around in a cami and capris, still sweating... i blame it on too much estrogen!!!

I love fall!!! I appreciate it even more after the brutal summer of swim lessons that little Ms Murry Jane and i had to endure!!!

i did actually have to put on a hoody this morning, while painting outside as the wind was quite bitter... still loved every minute of it though!!

My maybe not so syndrome baby

Sleep is almost certainly out of the question here lately...

It all starts as i am putting the kids to bed... little miss murry starts to amp up the kicking

and it doesn't stop until i decided to get up in the morning

I have read (and read and read and read) about trisomy 18 babys, and apparently they don't move much in the womb

So i have obsessed about kicking and moving and any tiny little bump i can detect. For a few days about two weeks ago, i felt NOTHING, i honestly thought little girl had died (which, as i also read is not uncommon, most Trisomy 18 babies don't make it to birth)

And now ALL night long, i can hardly fall asleep, and then staying asleep is a whole new story. I am a light sleeper as it is, so every time i need to roll over, i have to start the fall asleep amidst the war in my womb again! (also every time i potty, like 5 times a night)

i should just give up sleeping now... its coming soon anyways

all the kicks have almost put my mind at ease about having a syndrome baby, but i still cant wait for the next ultrasound :/

ITs a ______!

We made it to Louisiana in about 22 hours!

Husband Drove straight through, he's a trooper!!

The next morning we went and got our box of balloons!

My folks pulled the camper to Sam Houston.

Husband took a nap in the shade

Baby 3, also rested for a split second in the shade!

no he is not asleep haha.

All the family and some friends arrived!

We all stood around to watch the kids open the box.

Daddy had made a bet with the kids... if pink balloons come out and we are having a girl, daddy gets a back massage.

If blue balloons come out and we are having a boy, daddy gets a back massage.

The kids agreed, and the tape was torn off, and...

Its A GiRL!!!

Every one is happy and we all go eat!!

About two hours later Baby Two is sitting next to me, he looks at me surprised and says

"the balloons were pink!"

I said yes they were

He says "we are having a GIRL!!" as if he just realized what that meant

And i said yes we are!

And he smiles very sweet and goes about with what he was doing!

LOVE IT

nothing good ever comes from an ultrasound

Well we had the ultrasound... and i know what we are having... but i wont tell you until we have the big reveal ;)

It was a quite lengthy sonogram, i thought about this a bit while there, but assumed as technology gets better the list of things to check get longer... well i should have known otherwise.

The next day my midwife came over for my appointment, and informed me that there was some issues that the tech had found on our little baby ______.

First off, there is a cyst in baby's brain, which is a soft marker for a few syndromes, like all the trisomy syndromes. But she also informed me that it usually goes away without a problem.

Next thing, i have a high level of amniotic fluid. She tells me not to worry about it, but says the radiologists pointed it out to her to make sure she saw it.

Finally, my baby's kidneys are enlarged. we didn't touch much on this subject, she just said its on the high side of normal...

So she reassured me that this wont conflict with my plans for a home birth, but that i should have another ultrasound in about 10 weeks

After she left i was pretty devastated... not that there was something wrong more because now i know there is problems and there is nothing i can do about it except worry.

Which is exactly what i did... i spent the next 4 hours sitting on the couch researching all of the things she told me about... as a single thing each problem wouldn't be a big deal, but together they are three markers for trisomy 18

I saw the tech looking for clenched hands for a long long time, she even told me that she wanted a picture of the hands opening, and we did eventually see the hands open, and there didn't seem to be rocker feet, though i could have swore i saw an extra toe( but i didn't say anything assuming i was just being paranoid, after having a baby with a deformed foot) the nose and head looked fine, but who says that baby's at 20 week have to show markers already...

I have convinced myself that the cyst isn't a problem, i read some literature about how the cysts are so common they are considering to take them off of the scan requirements because they really usually mean nothing.

But as it turns out kidney problems and amniotic fluid levels are a package deal... so this is what i have been dwelling on, if my little _____ doesn't have trisomy 18 then he/she will have kidney problems! The symptoms of higher amniotic fluid are: unusual abdominal discomfort, increased back pain, shortness of breath, and extreme swelling in your feet and ankles. All except the swelling (though i have swollen a little) i have been having problems with... when i read the symptoms to husband you could see that they were spot on cause he has been hearing me complain about not being able to breath and how bad my belly hurts from the stretching, and the stretch marks that have already cropped up, my back hurting all the time... things that shouldn't be a problem this early on... in fact i am pretty sure i blogged about most of these symptoms... turns out it isn't a 4th baby thing it is a problem in utero thing:(

So i should be packing for my trip home, but instead i am sitting here crying. 

I should be more prepared for bad news because second baby was the only normal ultrasound we have had thus far... First baby was going to have downs(she is perfectly fine), third baby was going to have trisomy 13 (came out just a foot/leg malformation) and now this baby has what seems like bigger problems. Because it isn't just ONE thing this time, it is a group of things and i am older and it just seems more probable, especially since i have been worrying about this exact thing since we were surprised by this pregnancy.

I shouldn't have had an ultrasound... next time i wont. then i could continue having a wonderful pregnancy full of unnamed discomforts but as far as i know a healthy baby_____!

I just cant make up my mind!!

It is three more days until my ultrasound appointment... and i SAID i was going to have a reveal party... but i just cant stand the wait!!!

I have already talked to my family about it, they somewhat thought it was a good idea, not to enthusiastic about the 4th baby...

Its not really going to be a party, more like a "get together with family and we also find out if it is a girl or boy"...  so not much planing involved

But then again i just really really want to know NOW.

I am sure after i find out i will be rather sad about not having waited to have a gender reveal with the family.

So i guess i should just get over it, and wait... grrrrrrrrrrr..... i just want to know!!!!

to be continued...

almost back on track

As my pregnancy sickness subsides, and my clarity returns,  i realize that i am way way behind schedule on my duties... it has taken a good 3-4 weeks to get back to that point in the household chores where i feel somewhat comfortable.

Now i can wake up, and make breakfast, then CLEAN THE KITCHEN, woooohooooo!!

Now i can fold laundry and have the kids help put it up WITHOUT yelling and then throwing up,  yyyyyaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!!!

i can vacuum every few days, with sweeping in between... no more dirty bare feet, yipppppppyyyyyy!!!!!

i feel like my self again, and like i am living/almost thriving in my OWN house.

This feeling of equilibrium comes with the harsh realization that it will not last long... as soon as this baby comes i will be right back too, long hauls of no house work, dotted with short bursts of sporadic cleaning(that doesn't get much accomplished anyways).

I am hoping that i will have my renovations on the upstairs done enough before hand, to do my pre baby deep cleaning so that, that nice clean house feeling lasts longer than a few days :/

On another good note... today is my last day of full time baby sitting... i feel like jumping for joy!!!!!

I know I have been monster Mommy for the past 3-4 months. throwing up, baby sitting other people kids, the step son moving in for a few months... and now today marks the end of all of that, and honestly the tears are close! I can't wait to hold my three babies and tell them how great they are, and then tell them we can have this time to ourselves from now on, "i am just YOUR mommy" no more Mrs. Anitra... no more activities and lunches planned for the masses, we can have what WE like to eat, and do what WE like to do, and not hear complaining and whining all day long!!!!

Its not the kids fault that they hate every thing that we like, that is just the consequence of watching another families children, especially for a family that is on the opposite spectrum of society from us!

I am just having a good morning, and to make it even better (or i don't know maybe it will make it turn for the worse) i am about to start on a quilt for my best friends wedding. 

yay for back to almost normal!!