BIRTH BASHING

Wow, so i just cant stand it anymore!!!!! i have to get it off my chest and my husband is tired of hearing me complain about it...

Excerpt from Anitra's webster
Birth bashing: when moms in the presence of a newly expecting mom/wife who is looking forward to having a child, talk about the worst birthing stories they have had or have heard from a friend

Man oh MANNNNNN does this make me mad

I have strong opinions about child birth and i tend to keep them to myself because one part of my opinion is there is no wrong way... this requires more explaining, but i will get to that later

Let me lay out the scenario:

Newly expecting first time mom sitting around chatting what lady's love to chat about

Experienced mom, starts in with: well i cant live without an epidural...in fact it is physically impossible for me to have a baby without one

another experienced mom chimes in: yeah my second child took 35 hours of laboring and i had to have 3 epidural 5 rounds of pitocine and then a c section because something to do with my physiology

first time mother looks scared so other mothers assure her she will be fine, as long as she doesn't have a home birth because she had a friend that almost died because her midwife was terrible

then another mom not to be outdone by these first stories starts talking about her terrible birth and how terrible the after pain was, and how her episiotomy was this and her d&c was that and how her body will never be the same and so on and so forth

End scenario

i am guilty of talking birth, i have bashed a few hospitals and nurses in my day, but never have i ever ever told anyone especially not a 1st time pregnant mom that birth is a horrible thing

I believe you should do what you think necessary to have your baby, every one is different and every one has their preferred or ideal birth... it is totally up to you what you want/need to do to get your little miracle out with the least bit of damage possible to your body or your baby

But I also believe that 98% percent of women can do it without meds and especially without surgical intervention

I cant stand hearing an expecting mom say, "that sounds terrible" or  even "wow" or that look they get on their faces like what have i gotten myself into

i try to interject most of the times with... "its not that bad" and "you can do it without meds" but as soon as i start with the "well i did it three times without meds" i get those looks/eye rolls from the other moms, or the sly remarks like "well aren't you lucky"

Gosh i am not saying it because i want every one to think i am some super birther(though it is surprising how fast third baby's come out) i just want the conversation to go differently

Better Scenario:

Mom one says "oh you are expecting, how wonderful, i have this great midwife, and my birth was difficult but worth it"

Next mom "having your first baby is kinda scary cause you don't know what to expect, but you are going to kick but cause you are awesome"

Expecting mom "wow i hope so but i just am nervous cause i see such scary things on tv"

Other moms "tv blows it out of proportion, it really isn't that dramatic , i mean it is hard but if we couldn't do it then we wouldn't be here with 4 kids"

Me "just do what you think is right for you and your baby"

other moms agree and say comment on how worth it it is "the first time you see those little eye looking at you and your heart swells and you know that this is what maternal love feels like"

end scenario

So not as dramatic and kinda gushy, there is no reason why you cant punch it up with the funny stuff and maybe a "baby got stuck in one position" or "yes i had a c section but that happens sometime" but do we really need to scare the pants off of our new mothers NO

last time this happened( a few nights ago) i couldn't take it any more... i threw in a bunch reasoning phrases of: don't listen to hers and every loves dramatic stories, a couple of you can do anything you wants  and sited some books... and stormed out and went home... frankly i am sick of hearing about dramatic birth stories

Here is my birth stories:

With every baby, all i wanted was for the dumb doctors to leave me alone so i can push my baby out... they cant keep their stupid hands off of you in the hospital so i spend most of my time telling them to leave me alone(the first two birth i was used as a training guide for new doctors, the lure of crazy hippy mom was too good to pass up i guess, and i am actually glad of it... this is what a real birth looks like NEWBS you can do it without epidurals and forceps), and then the contractions turn to that feeling of needing to push and i give it hell(probably more than i should cause i always pop blood vessels in my face) and have a baby and they are beautiful, and then they are whisked away quicker than i can spit instead of letting me just love and feed my new little delight... and they totally are a delight those first few weeks, when they eat sleep and poop... life is simple and their needs are simple and they are so wrinkles and cute... yes it is tiring and you feel like a zombie but it doesn't last forever... so this one i need to have at home so i can ensure that ALL my desires are met, i don't want the cord cut, i don't want the placenta yanked out, i don't want the baby to have a bath(until i can give her one), i want to cuddle her warm, without the use of those ridiculous incubator beds gosh i just want to do it how i feel i need to do it!!!!!!

i don't personally think that my story would scare any moms into having medical intervention... and if it did than i would keep my trap shut!!

So in a nut shell... America, and humans in general, thrive on drama, and bringing life into this world doesn't have to be dramatic, and i want old moms to stop scaring new moms, gosh there are so many other things to complain about ( like boobs, and wrinkles, and men) why do we focus on birth!!!

now i must go cook dinner... good bye